Emotional Health Help:Grieving the Loss of a Pet

When your beloved pet dies, what are the first words you hear well-meaning friends utter? 'Get a new pet! You'll feel so much better!' But I retort with a resounding, 'No!' Don't go out and hunt feverishly for some other animal, even of the same variety or breed, to replace your much-loved pet. When my dear brother and sister-in-law lost one of their two dogs, still very young, to an unexpected, rampant virus, I would no more suggest that they replace'Boo' (a charming, sweet-natured part Rotweiller) than I would have expected them to suggest I replace one of my children. The loss of a pet can be as devastating for some as the loss of a beloved person. Can you replace a loved one in the human world? Definitely not. And if pets are often loved as much as humans, how could you replace that cat, or dog or horse, or any animal that held such an affectionate spot in your heart? Better instead for those grieving that loss of a pet, to find comfort in these coping methods.

Tell everyone that cares about you, that your precious pet has passed away. Allow your friends and loved ones to comfort you. When my husband (of 23 years) and I were dating, I remember him calling me to inform me, in choked-back tears, that his dear little 'Toby', a friendly, loving little Pomeranian had died. We cried together and I felt honored to share his grief. Years later, we cried together, after I shared how I felt after taking our first cat 'Oliver' to the Humane Society, ill and old as he was, and how our nine year-old son sobbed in my arms.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel. I can remember to the day when my grandparents' poodle 'Pierre' passed away. I was twelve years old and 'Pierre' was older than me. My harsh, autocratic Dutch grandmother cried when she told me, saying that, after all, Pierre was, 'only a dog' and not a person. I don't remember much except that I cried with her and told her that I loved both her and Pierre.

Let the tears flow. When our second son was only about three or four, he was given care of a nest of baby birds. They had been found in an old trailer, abandoned by the mother. Jake was taught by his grandfather who found them, how to feed and care for the young fledglings. And did that little boy care for them? He followed Grandpa's instructions to the letter. But the babies died. As babies left to fend without their mother often do. That little boy cried all day long and into the night. Whenever we, his parents, or his older siblings would come upon that sad little boy, we would just hug him. We knew that only time would heal his grief for his 'baby birds'.

Gather all the photographs that you may have of you and your pet. Purchase an inexpensive frame collage. Place the photographs of you and your pet into the frames.

Write a memoir to your pet. You think it sounds silly? Not at all. As a teacher, I have often assigned students to write a eulogy for a loved one. And that loved has often been a pet. Writing is art with words. Let the sentiments you have for your pet find freedom in writing.

Pets share our heart and soul as only a non-verbal being can. They are no less loved because they cannot speak. If your pet could speak, she would say how happy she was to live with you, under your care and protection.

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